Yes, I really was excited about turning 40!

So yesterday I wrote about how I was actually looking forward to turning 40 a few years ago. It was going to be a great decade and then things in my life got turned upside down!

But as you can see from the title of this blog, I am turning things around. Also, as you can see from the end of my last post, I still hold on to the hope I had 6 1/2 years ago when I celebrated my milestone birthday.

Before I turned 40, I wrote my close friends an email telling them my plans and how excited I was to be turning to be the big 4-0. I could go hunting for that old email, but in a scrapbook that she gave me, my friend Silvia included this writing from author Allie Ochs. I think this sums up exactly how I felt and still feel.

There may be many things behind me, and there may be other things that may never come to be: however, there is still so much to look forward to in my life. 

I think back to my grandmother's generation. When she turned 40, women were made to feel like they were old woman. They were made to feel as if their best years were behind them, and that they should go out and buy a nice rocking chair to watch their soaps in or rock their grandchildren to sleep.

Today, we women have so much to look forward to even when we hit middle age. Well, the author below summed it up pretty well. Silvia sharing this with me was probably one of the best gifts I have ever received!

So, to me and all of you who are reading this, here's to a fabulous future!

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The Magic of Turning 40 
By Allie Ochs 

The countdown begins and soon you will no longer belong to the 30-something group. While some may dread crossing the 40 threshold, others may greet the event with anticipation and excitement. 

Regardless of how you feel, you will probably do what everyone does at this juncture: take stock of your life. What have you done with your life? Are you the person you intended to be and are you living the life you want? 

It is true, certain things may never happen at 40. It is unlikely that Playboy will want you as their centerfold, just as the likelihood of ever being a grandma fades. While you cannot turn back time “turning 40” suggests something exciting! The simple phrase “turning” means you can turn into anything you want to be. You can turn to anything that you want to. It also means you can turn on your passion, turn on your greatness, turn the page, turn the corner and move on! You are halfway through life, but you still have the second half. No matter where you are in your life, there are no rules where you should be. It doesn’t matter whether you are happily married, single or divorced 5 times. It doesn’t matter if you have too many children, enough or none. It doesn’t even matter if you are highly educated; college educated or barely finished high school. At 40, the doors are wide open and you can still do anything you want. 

In biblical terms the numerical number 40 has significant meaning. Think of the 40 days and 40 nights of rain floods. It took the Israelites 40 years to find the Promised Land, and Jesus spent 40 days in the dessert before his crucifixion. Maybe it takes 40 years to grow into an awesome woman. You are about to enter the most amazing time in your life. The past 40 years were all about preparation. Now you are both credible and incredible. 40 is the pivotal power age and here is why: 

•You can become a doctor or lawyer and still have time left to practice; 
•You can fall in love like a teenager and still have the time to grow up; 
•You can marry a younger man without first having a facelift; 
•You can have your first wedding anniversary; 
•You can have children and still have the time to raise them 
•You can shop at Victoria Secret without looking silly 
•You can move to another country and still have the time to make it your home; 
•You can take up a new sport without worrying about arthritis; 
•You lived long enough to be sure about some things; 
•You can say what you want and others will listen; 
•You can still have fun without being medicated; 
•You can do something that you have never done in your life. 

And remember this motto to live by: 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ "WOO HOO, what a ride!" 

Welcome to my new blog

Okay, I know what you're thinking when you see a blog title such as "My Not So Fabulous 40s". You think I'm going to complain and moan about hitting the big 4-0, and how it's all downhill from there. Not at all!

Actually, 6 1/2 years ago when I turned 40, I couldn't be happier, and I felt great even about the way I looked. I've always been a bit of a late bloomer, and when I hit that milestone birthday I still wasn't married or had children. I actually felt like this was going to be my decade. I was going to meet the one and be a mom. Of course, I tucked the mom part towards the back of my head, because if not, I would be dating desperate for a child, and that never ends well. It usually makes you blind to your partner's imperfections and whether or not those flaws are deal breakers! Plus, even though I wanted a child or two of my own, I knew if that didn't happen I would be an awesome stepmother and even was open, and still am, to adoption.

Yes, I was ready to date like I never dated before, have some fun and all that good stuff. I was even thinking it was time to change jobs and go for something more fulfilling. Then life got in the way. The decade that I thought would kick off great new things turned into a time in my life where everything was turned upside down.

The last 6 1/2 years have been filled with loss. I'm talking loss of family members, jobs and even my home of almost 20 years. (Well, not that it was my house or anything, but the move was still rough!) Oh, and on top of all that, despite all the stress, I thought I would keep at it when it came to dating. Yes, that's right, I chose to add more stress to my life! Because when you don't have your act together, or you have things pulling you one way or the other, dating just isn't going to be as enjoyable as you thought.

Now while the last few years haven't been as enjoyable as I thought they would be, and there were some times there I thought I couldn't bear any more, I feel like I have made it through to the other side. I knew I would. I had experienced rough times before in my life, and while my life wasn't the best, I knew it wasn't the worst. However, there were some big bumps in the recent leg of my journey of life!

A lot of tears have been shed over the last few years, and a lot of memories that were tucked in the back of my mind and bottom of my heart were brought to the surface and had to be dealt with again and properly this time.

This blog is how I got through the last few years and the sad memories, but most important of all, how I have been able to turn things around. Sometimes I'll share my experiences, sometimes I'll share what I have learned from others. Maybe I'll even post a helpful article or two that I find on the web.

I write this, because I know that I'm not alone when it comes to the things I have dealt with. I know there are other 40-somethings who thought they would be settled down and content right now, but instead are dealing with loss. Or, are out there dating and trying to figure out how to date at this age and in this age of texting and social media.

I also write this, because just like I did when I turned 40, I believe this is going to be the decade that fabulous things happen. My 40s may not have started out on a fabulous foot, but I am determined to end this decade fabulously!